The Midnight Beast: Wands
by SJBHasADayPass
Summary: It's not a story, it's a song by The Midnight Beast and it's basically a parody song about Harry Potter. You can listen to it on YouTube and/or Download it from ITunes. WARNING THIS DOES INCLUDE SWEARING AND SEXUAL REFENCE.


**A.N Hello I had this thought in this morning about this morning about this song. I find it absolutely hilarious and I wanted to put it on. These are just the lyrics.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own the song or anything it relates to.**

**You should really check it out on YouTube, and their other songs.**

**Note; (...) means that someone's talking**.

The Midnight Beast: Wands

(This year, the country has seen wand crime soar to an all time high. When will this bad spell pass?)

I'm Gary Potter.

You haven't heard'a me

(No)

You may have seen my bro in the Potter octalogy (What?)

That's eight films, you know, I'm quite smart.

But that did help... getting me a Harry Potter part.

Should'a gone to Hogwarts, I didn't get in.

Now I'm living life as a Wizard has been.

'Cause life's not pretty, it's actually grim.

Not a fairy-tale by J.K. Rowling.

The wands on the streets are dangerous

They're easy to get, I got two!

It don't matter if you're famous.

We're still gunna come for you.

Hanging round the streets getting wasted on Butterbeer.

Disappear, steal a couple tings from the sweet shop

Reappear...

I got a bump on my head like a tortoise.

Running head first at 9 and 3 quarters.

Everybody put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air

If you don't get respect

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air

If you're a Wizard reject.

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

If you can't do a spell

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air

Dumbledore you as well (sorry)

(Since May 2007 there have been seven wand related incidents. Seven)

I used to go to Hogwarts but I had enough

Soon as I got sorted and put into Hufflepuff

Told the sorting hat, go fuck yourself and I quit (Hey)

'Cause everybody knows that Hufflepuff is shit.

I'm dead Sirius... Black was my heart when my girl got stole.

Hermione YOU ATE MY SOUL

Like a Dementor... Weasley I'm coming for you

I got Wizard GPS on my Nimbus broom

(Us gingers are meant to stick together... just kidding, it's just a Hedwig.)

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

If you don't get respect

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

If you're a Wizard reject.

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

Because magic is sick

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

Voldemort? You're a dick! (Oi)

(To decrease wand crime, the government have introduce wand amnesty for local gangs to throw their wands into)

I'll give you a guess which house I was in,

Alohomora your legs and I'll Slytherin...

All the Witches in the place think I'm pretty harmless,

Till I Expelliarmus from my Dickaramous...

(What, what?) What do you expect-o?

After I got hexed, ohh,

Now I walk around with a constant erecto...

Would you help reducto?

Might involve a fuck though,

Hogwarts threw me out quick

For rubbing my broomstick

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

If you don't get respect

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

If you're a Wizard reject.

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

I keep a spare in my pocket

Put your wands in the air

Put your wands in the air (put 'em up)

Put your wands in the air

If you're a nasty fat Hobbit.

(What's that?) (Dobby, that's Dobby) (That's Golem from Lord of the Ring) (What?) (You got the wrong film) (Fuck off)

**A.N. I hope you enjoyed it. I will carry on with my FanFic but I just had to put it on.**

**See ya later xxx**


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